I am expecting my first child, something that has made me far more nostalgic than I expected. Going through old pictures, I came across a print of my mom, with her brother Joshua. They must have been about 10 and 12, with sun kissed faces and scabby knees. This set my mind working, and I remembered when I first heard the story of the Crow Bride. Mom told me this story, about my uncle, when I myself was 12. She was in a vulnerable and emotional state, as It would have been my uncle Joshua’s 40th birthday. She had been on the verge of tears all day, and when she told me the story at bedtime, she had a few glasses of wine in her as well.
I never knew my uncle Joshua, my mom’s older brother, because he died a few months before I was born. I knew who he was of course, as there were other pictures of him scattered around our house. In these, he was forever young and handsome, and seemed to look wistful, with a slight smile. Every picture was the same. He had very light blue eyes and was slight of build, almost too thin. He was nearly 28 when he died, and his life was ended early during a thunderstorm when he met a drunk driver, on his way home from work. This is all very ordinary and maybe cliché, but that’s not what was extraordinary about my uncle.
I remember that my Mom’s eyes drifted off as she started to speak.
Your Uncle Josh was special. I always wished that you could have met him. He had the same soft heart and love of animals as you. He was always bringing home some injured thing, sometimes a bug or spider, or a toad, or mouse. But he especially loved birds. I don’t know how many nests of birds he raised, when a cat got the mother, or how many little wings he mended. He had a soft spot for those birds, everyone said so. Most times he seemed successful with helping. But as always happens, not everything survived. His heart would break, and he would cry over those little critters, carefully putting them in a lined box and burying them. We basically had a pet cemetery out behind the barn at Grandma’s old house. I was two years younger, and I thought that mostly he was a gross boy, but I was secretly proud of him and I loved him something fierce, even when we fought.
One summer, he found an injured crow. I guess he was about 17 then, and still as soft hearted. He thought maybe the crow had been shot by some farmer, and he carefully tended to it like life depended on it, which I guess it did. That crow was huge, as some crows are. It was mean at first, trying to bite him, but weak enough where it couldn’t really do much. He just waited patiently for it to stop, then kept tending it. He found an old bird cage for it, and he would sit for hours and talk to it. I swear that crow sometimes cocked its head and listened.
As you can imagine, he got pretty attached to that crow. But he was good at helping, and the crow got better. When it was time to let that bird go, he looked as brokenhearted as he did when a critter died. He talked to it a long time, then pulled it carefully from the cage. It sat on his hand, used to him by now, but when he told it to fly, it did. At first a little rough, then better and better, till it made it to a tree nearby. It seemed to sit and rest a minute, and I swear it looked back at him for a good long time. I was there, and that’s not something you forget real easy, when an animal acts like you think a human might.
Well he moped all that weekend, but when Monday came, he seemed happy when he got home from school. We found out later he had met a girl, and they became thick as thieves right quick. Her name was Jewel, and she was new to the school that Monday. She seemed to have eyes only for him. They started spending time together and before too long, he had declared that they were in love. I didn’t take to her at first, being that he was my older brother and I was so fond of him, but she had a quiet way that won us all over. She was tall, almost as tall as Josh, but not as thin. She had dark auburn hair, too dark to be red but with a tone to it that made it not brown either. Her eyes were dark, and watchful, but kind. She was around so much that you couldn’t help but get used to her, and you could tell she loved Joshua just as much as he loved her. When those two looked at each other, it gave you a funny feeling like there was no one else real in the room. That’s the kind of love that everyone wants I imagine.
Time passed, and our family took to her and she became like one of us, so when they said they were getting married, no one batted an eye. It was a simple backyard wedding, all nature and flowers, and she was so beautiful. Josh just beamed. Things went on this way, and when I married your father, she was my matron of honor. It seemed only natural. I guess we loved her too and had grown used to her being there. Like I said, she was quiet and watchful, but if she had something to say she would tell it to you straight. Many times, if there was a family problem, she seemed to think on it a long while, then would sit one of us down and tell us her thoughts in that calm way. She was smart, or maybe wise was more the thing. I trusted her.
Their marriage was a bit of a mystery to us at times though. Josh might show up for breakfast at my house, or at a family gathering, alone. When we asked after Jewel, he would just look away and say she was taking some time for herself. This didn’t get excessive and didn’t seem to upset the applecart, so we all decided it was their business. Josh had become a veterinarian, and he had some long hours too, so again this only seemed natural. Jewel made beautiful necklaces and bracelets from found stones and trinkets and such, and sold them at craft shows and in some local stores, so she was able to keep her own unusual hours, which seemed to suit them both just fine.
Then came that horrible day. I was pregnant with you and home when I got the news. It had been storming badly all day, and Josh was at the office late delivering some puppies to a dog momma who was having trouble. On his drive home there was a drunk driver and too much rain on the road, so you know that is never good. I got a call to come quick to the hospital. I had to drive slow and careful, with the weather and being worried about you, but it just about tore me up. I knew how serious it was, and I was afraid something would happen before I could see him. At the same time, I dreaded seeing him. I got there in time though.
Jewel was there, and you could tell she had been crying, but it looked like she was trying to be calm for him. He was in and out but woke a little when I came in. I held his hand and tried not to cry too. Jewel gave us a moment, and I was able to tell him just how much I loved him. I told him we would be here for his wife too, but he just shook his head with a sad smile. I got Jewel to come back in, and your grandparents were there. By then your dad was gone, off to California and not keeping much in touch. Josh closed his eyes, and a few minutes later he was gone.
The funeral was a sad affair – which of course they all are, but this one in particular because everyone loved Josh. So many people came. It was a bit of a blur. Afterwards we were all at the old house, and I was sitting alone outside, when Jewel came to me. At first she just sat quietly, her hand on my swollen belly. She smiled then and told me what a spectacular mom I would be. She calmly told me that their house, their car, all of it was being left to me, as she would have no need of it. I didn’t understand, and I said so, but she just got up and kissed me on top of the head. She told me I was like a sister to her, and she thanked me for being there and for accepting her. She said she would miss me, and she walked away.
When I say she walked away, I mean she walked straight into those woods behind Grandma’s. I sat stunned a moment then waddled after her, calling her name. She was nowhere to be seen. I called and called, then went and got Grandpa to help me. We didn’t find her. I thought maybe she just needed to be left alone a bit, so the next day I went to their house, but it was empty. Well, not totally empty. Everything of value was boxed up, with the boxes labelled and a note for me.
Dear Kath,
I don’t expect you to understand but I am not staying. I love you all, but Josh was my life and he gave me life really. I am going back to my old life, and my old ways. Please think of me from time to time. Share our story, if you like, so that your child will know the things that real love can do.
Love, Jewel
I was shocked. I had just lost Josh, and now this. It took me a good long time to accept that she was gone. She was right about the will though, everything went to me. I moved into their house, this house, which I loved. I felt closer to them here, and the old house I had wasn’t much anyway. Time moved, as it does, and the ache lessened but on days like today it seems so sharp, and like no time has passed at all.
There’s only one more thing, and it seems silly, but I will always remember it. The day you were born, I was a mix of love and pain and delirium, but mostly just content. I was sitting in the hospital bed, holding you and crying a little. It was quiet, and there were no visitors right then. I looked up at the window, and there on the outside sill was a very large, beautiful crow. It looked a lot like the crow that Josh had rescued so long ago. I swear it looked right at me. I know crows can’t smile, but…. well I know that’s silly. There it was, and it sat there for an eternity, which was I’m sure a couple of minutes. I smiled, and it cocked its head, and flew away.
As I sit back and put my hand on my stomach, I think about family and also of magic – the ordinary and the extraordinary kind. I can’t wait for my daughter to be born, so that I can share the memories passed to me, and the story of my Uncle and an amazing love that just might have created magic of its own.